I’ve been on the phone three times this week. I utterly, utterly, utterly hate being on the phone. It is the worst thing ever you can ask me to do. You know how most people are absolutely terrified of public speaking? I’m the opposite. I love public speaking. It’s one on one speaking through a plastic thingy I absolutely detest.

(Christ, just while I was typing this someone else called me – did I leave the camera running?)

Let me break it down.

  1. It’s harder to remember the details. Chances are if you’re on the phone you’ll have to remember the conversation, who said what, how they said it, etc etc, for later. I’m hopeless with that. I don’t want to be on the phone, it’s an unpleasant experience, so why would I try to remember the details?
  2. It’s incredibly out dated. Someone called me today to catch up with me and see what I’m up to nowdays. I HAVE EMAIL. I HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT. Use them to find out. I love getting email! If you’re reading this website you know more about what I’m doing with myself than most people already.
  3. It’s rude if you’re in company. You’ve been there. You’re with a group of people, having a good time, maybe a great time, I don’t know the group of people you hang out with, and then someone’s phone rings. One of two things can happen: everyone stops talking and listens or the person who recieved the call leaves the room and then puts the person ahead of the phone ahead of the people they’re with. Well too God damn bad, person who was too good to be there, that person is busy at the moment so you can just wait your sodding turn.
  4. It’s needless. You don’t need to have a phone. There’s a million communication options available. “But what if there’s an emergency?” I hear you ask. Well, sorry, I didn’t realise you were Batman. Emergencies can be dealt with by the police, ambulance and fire departments. Now that I think about it Batman just relied on the Bat Signal, no phone needed.
  5. It’s inconvenient. Maybe I have time to be on the phone, but you don’t. But how am I meant to know that ahead of time? Bah. Stupid thing. Also while we’re at it, it places too many expectations on both people to be doing nothing but concentrating on the phone. I grew up playing video games, multitasking is in my blood. If you’re talking on the computer it’s no big deal to be on IM, playing a game, listening to music and downloading legally purchased items at the same time. But GOD FORBID if you dare do anything while you’re on the phone. It’s expected that you maintain a LASER BEAM INTENSITY OF FOCUS AT ALL TIMES.

Is it just me? Are there other people out there who hate the phone? What about other household items you’re expected to use even though we replaced their functionality in 1980?