Here are a list of things I would do if someone gave me five million dollars:

  • Buy a house out in the sticks and build a moat around it. There would be a drawbridge that goes over the moat on rare occasions when I want to venture back out in the world but for the most part you’re going to have to deal with the crocodiles I put in the moat. There will also be a secret entrance to a Super Mario 64 level under the moat.
  • Nice internet connection to download cat videos.
  • 24 inch Cintiq would be nice.
  • Peanut butter sandwiches, chocolate milk and Kinder Surprises.
  • Computer in every room and by computer I mean a Commodore 64.
  • I don’t really have much of a plan for what I’d do with the rest of the money.