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Don’t you think it’s so great that most game reviews are embargoed until the game is released, nowdays?
Yeah, me neither.
Anyway I’m doing comics about being a video game reviewer now, because I used to be one, and God forbid I ever become one again!
Giving a final rating for a video game is a very complicated process. You have to take into account the game’s target audience, it’s accessibility to that audience, what the developers tried to achieve and weigh that against the technical aspects, addictiveness and value for money the game represents.
Or if that’s too hard you can just see what all the other sites are scoring it and just use that number instead.
The wife asked me while I was drawing this one if it was based on a painful memory, but it really wasn’t. I typically got thrown out of Nintendo parties for writing for online sites and they frowned upon that sort of thing.
I know, Nintendo not getting how to handle online communication? CRAZY TALK.
Not only has his writing gotten better, but he’s also increased his word count by over 20%!
I am currently sick as a big stupid sick thing, and really can’t do much beyond drool incoherently and stare slack jawed at the TV looking for a Simpsons rerun while bathing in a horrid cold sweat. So I drew this on my iPad using ArtStudio, which I will talk about in an upcoming blog post. It’s a good ‘un!
Some people have asked me if I’ve based this character on any particular well known video game journalist, and I haven’t. It’s more based on me at my worst, and I wasn’t really well known at all. At least not by my name.
Anyway I had a really nasty habit of forcing my opinions on anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot, so thank God that’s over with.
When I was a game reviewer I would hear all the time about game reviewers getting fancy trips everywhere but I never got any of that action. Oh Atari paid for me to go down to Melbourne and race around in some Lotus cars one day, that was nice. Oh and Virgin paid for me to run around a Haunted House in Sydney once, that was OK I guess.
But besides that, NOTHING.
This one was pretty close to the truth. You weren’t supposed to sell the games you got for review, especially if they were pre-release or promo copies, but when the local shops are paying you $30 for your game and you won’t get the $15 you earned from doing the review for another 6 weeks it’s hard to ignore the easy money which you need to do things like OH I DUNNO, EAT.
For the first year I was a ‘pro’ games reviewer I was earning $70 a week writing, $50 of which went to rent and so left me $20 to pay for electricity, internet and a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk that had to last a week. Thankfully things got better (a LOT better) but sheesh, I could have made more money (and respect) babysitting.
Never again.
I’m not really sure if it’s 10 women with boobs or 10 boobs being shared by 5 women, but either way this is a great feature idea coming soon to your favourite gaming blog of import.
THAT AWESOME IDEA (C) ME SO DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
Thought of it a few years ago, never did anything with it…might have to dig it up again one day 
I think it’ll be a fun writing challenge. I mean it’s hard enough having to justify most of the pap that gets a ‘perfect’ review score today as it is, let alone when you’re out and out taking the piss.
One of the really nice things about going to the Game Developers Conference is being able to go to the AIAS awards held after the show. It’s a pretty classy event, and great to see some well deserved awards being handed out to talented people.
But man, the hooting and hollering from the crowds in the balcony are just something else entirely. Calm down people, it’s not like we’re in a Roman Colosseum!
…OK I have to admit I gave out a big WAHOO when Doublefine won the best new developer award.
